


“James,” Aleks set the controller down, “I need to tell you something.”

by Cockbite (personalized_radio)



Series: Assassinations and Feelings [2]
Category: The Creatures | Cow Chop RPF
Genre: Assassinations and feelings, Fake Chop Au, M/M, NovaHD - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-14
Updated: 2017-05-14
Packaged: 2018-10-31 21:46:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,484
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10908078
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/personalized_radio/pseuds/Cockbite
Summary: “That I’m kicking your ass?” James raised an eyebrow, sitting cross-legged on the couch - barefoot and wearing a fucking t-shirt and boxers, his hair down and crazy.Had any of the others been home, Aleks doubted that James would be so bare. Since their crew had started to disintegrate, he’d become much more distant with everyone in a way that was almost hard to notice if you weren’t looking for it. Aleks, who was sometimes too attuned to James’ every move and emotion, had noticed.





	“James,” Aleks set the controller down, “I need to tell you something.”

**Author's Note:**

> you can find me at [on Tumblr](https://cockbite.tumblr.com/) if you'd like! I post fake/gta!au stuff :)

“James,” Aleks set the controller down, “I need to tell you something.”

“That I’m kicking your ass?” James raised an eyebrow, sitting cross-legged on the couch - barefoot and wearing a fucking t-shirt and boxers, his hair down and crazy.

Had any of the others been home, Aleks doubted that James would be so bare. Since their crew had started to disintegrate, he’d become much more distant with everyone in a way that was almost hard to notice if you weren’t looking for it. Aleks, who was sometimes  _too_  attuned to James’ every move and emotion, had noticed.

And that’s why it was so hard, knowing that James trusted him, to say what he needed to say.

“First off,” He scoffed, “You absolutely aren’t. I won that race.”  
“You may have won the battle, young Aleksandr,” James set his own controller on his lap and stretched, “But you will not win the war.”

Aleks smiled and ignored the hard pang in his stomach

“You know…” He started, and then stopped. He  _needed_ to tell James, before he told anyone else, and he needed to do it now. Both before he lost his nerve and before Jordan brought the others back. The only reason they were even alone now was because James had decided to stay behind with Aleks and watch the safe house for any signs of discovery while they were laying low and he wouldn’t get another chance like this until it was too late.

“You know, I care a lot about this crew,” He decided to say and then groaned and laid back, tilted his head up to stare at the ceiling. James had gone tense next to him, losing the loose and relaxed sprawl. That had been how Seamus had started his speech, too,  _fuck_.

“You’re leaving,” James stared; Aleks  _felt it_ , but couldn’t look.

“You left first,” He said, defenses rising at the accusing tone.

“I’m still  _here_ , Aleks.”

“No, you aren’t, not how it matters!’ Aleks wiped his palms on his pants - flannel, Optimus Prime heads printed. Sly had bought them for him as a joke, a call-back to the mask he’d originally worn when he was first starting out, a few months before he’d left. “James, most of us aren’t. Aron barely has any reason to stick around since we started working with the Cockbites, Joe’s only staying because  _you’re_  here, Dex is in  _England_ ,”

“First Spoon and now you?” James stood up, his face twisted in what could have been anger, hurt, or disgust. He’d never looked at Aleks like that before, not  _really_ , and it made Aleks’ stomach twist and his hackles rise at the same time, “What next? Is fuckin’  _Joe_  gonna betray me, too?”  
“ _Betray_  you?” Aleks rocked to his feet, “I stayed here for you, James!”   
“You stayed for the money and it gets a little hard and suddenly -”

“Oh, fuck off,” Aleks scoffed and resisted the urge to throw his arms out to encapsulate exactly what was happening here, “Jesus Christ, James, I stayed when  _Sly_ left! Wasn’t that enough for you? I stayed for  _two years_  after my  _partner_  left, what more do you want from me? I’m not even getting  _paid_ anymore, Nova!”

“If it was so fucking awful then you shoulda just left with Sly!” James snapped and then whirled to leave, though he only stomped his way into the kitchen. Aleks followed, unwilling to let him have the last word if they were  _those_  words. He’d thought he’d been fully prepared to face James’ anger, had known it was coming - but he always managed to forget that James had a way of  _dragging_ reactions out of him.

“ _You_  asked me to stay in the first place!” He said, trying to keep his voice calm. He wanted to have a rational conversation, not leave things on bad terms like how it was headed with Dex. This was hard enough without the threat of a pissed off Nova on the streets and out for his blood.

“What’s so different about now and then, huh?” James didn’t look at him again, still angry. He slammed the cabinet door once he’d grabbed a coffee mug and banged it down on the counter hard enough that Aleks actually winced at the cracking of the ceramic.

“You said that this was  _going somewhere_ ,” Aleks accused, “You said that staying when Sly left was going to be worth it and then you said the same thing when Kevin and Seamus left but it isn’t, man. Ze and Spoon are both out, no one is getting paid anymore, we’re stuck in this  _fuckhole_ -” he found himself taking his sudden anger - and  _fuck_ , he’d wanted to stay  _calm_  - on the kitchen wall, kicking it so hard his foot went through the drywall, “We’re falling apart and I am  _not_ sticking around to see it happen. Not even for you.”

“So what?” James opened the fridge forcefully, rocking the whole thing. If neither of them calmed down, the whole kitchen was going to be destroyed at this rate. “You gonna call up Sly? Maybe drag fucking Aron and that freelancer you think I don’t know about off and start your own thing?”

Aleks didn’t answer. He didn’t  _have_  an answer. He hadn’t quite thought out his plans for after he’d left.

Trevor was someone he hadn’t been  _actively_  trying to hide, not from James, at least, but even a kid like Trevor knew when blood was in the water and he didn’t want much to do with the Hub was done bleeding out. He was a good kid, Aleks respected his work, and he was  _smart_. And, as for Aron…Aleks didn’t know what Aron wanted, but he knew he wasn’t gonna stay for much longer under these conditions. Aleks and Sly had worked with him before they’d joined the Hub, a little, and Aleks knew that the standards he expected were not being met.

“Sly is going silent for a few weeks,” He settled on say, watching James make the angriest cup of instant coffee he had ever seen. Half of it ended up on the counter with how hard James stirred the grinds in.

“So you’ve talked to him about this,”  
“No,” Aleks shook his head, “I…You needed to know. First. We keep in touch, he mentioned it.”

“How,” James wrenched the microwave door open, “ _Fucking_ ,” he slapped the mug down inside, nearly cracking the turntable and the mug both, “ _Considerate._ ” he slammed the door again.

The microwave beeped sadly when he jammed one of the buttons, but obediently lit up and began to heat the coffee.

“You’re  _welcome_ ,” Aleks snapped back before he could regain his cool. “Look, James, I just…can’t do this anymore. Not with this crew. You said it was going to get better and it  _hasn’t_. If we don’t leave…if  _I_  don’t get out of here, I’m going to die here, okay?”

He leaned against the counter and covered his eyes with one of his hands, using the other to support himself against the ceramic counter.

He’d planned to say more, explain himself, but realized his mistake too late. He never should have taken his goddamn eyes off the fucker.

He was pinned to the counter before he’d even finished his exhale, an arm on either side of him and a familiar, warm body so close to his that he stopped breathing in fear that he’d brush against James if he did.

“James,” He tried, and his voice cracked.

“If  _we_  don’t?” James repeated, parroting his own words back at him.

Aleks, tongue dry, didn’t move his hand. If he looked at James, he knew it was over. He’d bend like a fucking wet paper towel.

“This is your crew, James,” He licked his lips, the anger draining from him, replaced with…something else. “I’m not gonna ask you to leave them.”

James wrapped a hand around his wrist and tugged it down and Aleks, frustrated with himself, let it happen.

“Aleks, look at me.”

“You can’t convince me to stay, James.”

“ _Look_  at me.” James said and Aleks,  _damn him_ , did.

James was very, very close. Like, uncomfortably close. His eyes were dark and wide, still angry but something else there, too, and it made Aleks’ chest tight.

He was not drunk enough for this. God  _damn it_ , it wasn’t  _fair_ , he was not  _drunk enough_  for this.

“You wanted to ask me to go with you?”

Instead of saying, “Of fucking course I did, jackass,” Aleks shrugged.

“Say it.” James frowned, “I want to hear it from you.”

“Hear what?” Aleks played dumb and then barely bit back a startled yelp when James crowded in closer, pressing what could have been a kiss or could have been an accidental brush of lips against his jaw.

“That you wanted me to go with you.” James answered, his breath hot against Aleks’ skin in the cool of the house. Aleks tilted his head, just a bit, without thinking and James didn’t hesitate to take advantage.

_This is my life_ , Aleks realized in a sudden moment of clarity.  _He’s going to kill me. He’s going to kill me and I’m gonna fucking let him._

And, with that certainty in mind, Aleks gave in.

“I wanted you to go with me.” He said, his voice just barely carrying any sound at all.

It seemed to be enough for James, who crowded even  _closer_ , somehow found the room, and Alek’s back was pressed hard against the edge of the counter and he knew there would be a bruise later but couldn’t quite find it in himself to care because James was in his  _space_. So close that they were sharing air and, theoretically, that was super gross but, in reality, Aleks’ head was going a little hazy.

“Kinda gay, dude,” James finally responded, like he wasn’t pinning Aleks to the  _fucking kitchen counter_.

“Fuck you,” He went to push James away but, somehow, ended up with his fingers tangled in black, frizzy curls.  _Shit_.

“Take me on a date first, Aleksandr,” James teased, still so close and yet not doing a  _thing_  to him other than just  _breathing_  on the skin of his neck. It was enough to have Aleks on his tiptoes, hypersensitive. The thing about James was that he was an expired firecracker, sometimes.

He  _probably_  wouldn’t go off but, if he did, it wouldn’t be pretty for the fuck stupid enough to have his hand in the way. Right now, Aleks felt like he was laying his whole body on top of the muzzle and daring James to explode.

“This doesn’t change anything,” He stared at the ceiling again, his good old friend the fucking ceiling, and tried to decide when he’d become so utterly fucked. Was it the first time James had looked at him? Or maybe it was when Sly told him the Hub was interested and he’d actually considered the offer? His guess would be the moment James realized just how much power he had in the situation.

“I need you to stay, Aleks,” James said and Aleks swore, tried to wriggle out of the pin.

“God damn it, James,” Aleks shoved at him, “What did I just fucking say? It’s like you don’t even, are you even listening? Do you know how to do that? With your ears?”

“I  _was_  listenin’,” James managed to grab one of his hands and get his arm against the cupboard above their heads, followed quickly by the second, and then Aleks really was pinned. James was a little taller and heavier, but Aleks was used to toting heavy guns around and could  _probably_  have escaped the hold if he’d wanted to. If he’d wanted to.  _God damn it_.

“I  _was_  listenin’,” James repeated, his voice low enough that Aleks actually had to put effort into hearing him - and wasn’t this the crux of their relationship? Aleks saying  _no_  and then James saying  _yes_ , and then making Aleks work for it even despite it being the exact opposite of what he wanted. “And you said you wanted me to go with you.”  
Aleks fought back the flush of his face at the words, awkwardly grunting out some sort of confirmation. The thing they had going on, it wasn’t…meant to be put into words like that. Wasn’t meant to be put into words at all. He was suddenly thankful that James had dropped his voice so low, almost afraid that - had he been just a little louder - the whole world would have heard.

It was an irrational thought, but Aleks was pinned in a safe house kitchen on the outskirts of Denver talking about leaving a crew that could very well want him dead for it with the most irrational husk of a human being he’d ever met. He was not, he could admit, the perfect candidate for a rational human being.

“I need a few months.” James continued and every thought that Aleks had been having flew straight out of his head.

“What?”

“Just give me a few months.” James repeated, like he wasn’t saying what Aleks  _thought_  he was saying.

“Dude,”  
“Shut up,” James hushed him, “Stay, Aleks. For me. A little longer. I  _swear_  to you; it’s going to get better.”

_For me_ , James had said and Aleks banged his own head on the cupboard and - exactly like they both knew he would - gave in.

“I  _hate_ you,” Aleks finally succeeded in shoving him away and James took a step back - and he had the audacity to not even look  _smug_  about it, like the fact that he could play Aleks like a fiddle was of so little consequence, was such a certainty, that he didn’t even have any pride that he’d done it.

The worst part, though, was that they both knew Aleks was lying through his teeth.  _Hating_  James would have made Aleks’ life a much simpler one.

“But you’ll stay.” James smiles, bright enough to light up the room, and laughed a little - relieved and high on it.

“A few months,” Aleks rubbed his face again, rougher and angrier, “A  _few months_ , James, and then I’m  _gone_  if it doesn’t get better.”

“Yeah, yeah,” James waved him away, turned back to the microwave to retrieve his coffee. He took a sip, made a face, and dumped it down the sink with little care. He believed Aleks about as much as Aleks did.

-

Aleks slept in James’ room that night - kicked Joe’s shit onto the bed in the room he and Aron had been sharing - and no one mentioned it in the morning but it had been a long while since James had looked that upbeat.

-

“Hey,” James said one night - two months later.

They were laying on his bed in his apartment - the place finally safe enough that James was willing to go back, unlike Aleks’ place. Ein had missed him while the Hub was away, taken care of by a neighbor, and James had invited he and Mishka to stay until Aleks’ place was cleared for proper living again. The dogs were sleeping in the living room, unwilling to sleep on the floor but unable to get into either of the bedrooms due to closed doors, and it was the first proper moment of quiet either of them had managed to grab since the heist had gone belly up and they’d had to go into hiding in the first place.

Aleks hummed, barely even awake. He’d need to get up soon, go to the guest room so he could get some rest, but James’ bed was big and comfortable and the smell of it all was familiar. That familiarity was enough to have him nearly dead to the world, after being on his toes and possibly afraid for his life for so long. They’d been playing some badly translated Mortal Kombat knock-off but had stopped so James could take the dogs out and, while he’d been gone, Aleks had made himself comfortable enough that the thought of moving was more unappealing than getting shot.

“You still wanna ditch, right?”

That woke him up.

“What?”  
“You wanna leave the Hub?” James raised an eyebrow, “Keep up, motherfucker, I told you I only needed a few months.”  
“What are you talking about?”  
“Leaving,” James snapped his fingers, “The Hub.”

“Yes…?” Aleks answered, unsure of what answer James was looking for. Yes, Aleks was still unhappy with the Hub. Yes, he was still getting paid exactly zero amounts of money and getting progressively more unfriendly with the others as time went on. But, no, he didn’t want to get into that when he was half asleep on James’ bed with no safe house to go to.

“Okay,” James nodded and flopped next to him, “Here’s the plan. You wanna leave, I wanna leave, let’s say we leave together.”

And, with that, Aleks was no longer even kind of asleep.

“ _What_?”

“Aleks, fucking pay attention,” James snapped, but he was smiling. “You and me, let’s say we leave. Start our own thing.”

“You and me?”  
“Maybe some of the others. Joe, ‘course, and maybe Aron. I called Brett and I’m snatching him up and you’ve got Trevor. And I kept the contact for that freelancer a few months back, Ashton? Something with Ash. He and his partner are looking for more permanent work.”  
“James,” Aleks set up, “Hold on, wait up. When did you decide to  _leave the Hub_?”

James waved him way, “I’m getting bored, Immortal. Time to shed this skin, find a new one.”  
“Crews aren’t like hermit crabs, James,”  
“You sayin’ I have crabs?”

“I’m not joking,”  
“Neither am I,” James wiggled his eyebrows and Aleks covered his mouth to stop himself from smiling. It was an obvious failure, because James started to laugh and then Aleks was laughing too, high pitched and a little bit giddy with confusion and excitement.

“For real, though,” Aleks scratched at his neck, a nervous tic he needed to get rid of, “You actually want to leave?”  
“You were right,” James shrugged, looking bored and not at all like this was one of the most important decisions of his life - right up there with leaving the high-stakes world of sharp-shooter assassinations with the likes of Felix and Mark to join with the Hub. “We’re crashing, and it would be better for us to not be there when the wreck happens.”

“And you’re…okay with that? You’ve been with them for like six years, man.”

“Aleks,” James laughed again, “Are you trying to talk me out of leaving?”  
“No,” Aleks said firmly, quickly, and then covered his face with a pillow to try to  _smother himself._

“Good.” James leaned on the pillow, tried to push it harder into his face and Aleks fought him off, barely holding back the stupid, manic giggles that were trying to break free.

It was  _exciting_ , the thought of being free from the Hub. Freeing.

“What the fuck, though,” Aleks said, when he’d settled into a comfortable sitting position across from James, like they were two kids staying up late during a school night sleepover, voice quiet in the slowly darkening room. “Why didn’t you just say that two months ago? I thought you meant you were going to try to get the Hub back on track.”

“I needed to get my ducks in a row,” James shrugged, “And now they are.”

“For real?” Aleks tried to fight back the smile and couldn’t, “We’re fucking idiots, you know.”  
“I’m gonna lose  _so_  much money,” James said with feeling, but it was the kind of fond exasperation that he used to hold for the Hub, the kind that said he didn’t  _mind_  the loss.

“Yeah,” Aleks shrugged, “It’ll be fun, though.”  
“And isn’t that all that matters?” James winked and Aleks found himself leaning forward, blood pumping, skin humming, and kissed him.

They hadn’t…since the safe house, and it was quick and light - more excited and playful than trying to start anything.  
With James, though, it never stayed like that for long.

In the morning, they wouldn’t talk about it, this, like always. Aleks would take the dogs out, clean up the shit and then come back inside and James would be making breakfast and they would insult each other like normal and eat. Afterwards, James would call up Brett and Aleks would call up Joe and Aron to invite them over, then text Trevor and the number that James said was the Ash guy’s to set up a meeting with everyone. They’d come to some sort of consensus on what everyone wanted to do, if everyone even  _wanted_  to work together and go from there.

It would be the start of something, though Aleks didn’t know what.

-

But that was in the morning, and this was now.

Aleks didn’t sleep in the guest bedroom.


End file.
